When adversity and stressful events happen in our lives, things often feel very chaotic and you may feel you have lost control. I love this ABCX Stress Model that was developed by Reuben Hill because it helps individuals and families identify areas that they can have some control which will impact what the future outcome of the stressful event is.
After going through stressful experiences, some people will experience maladaptation or crisis, and others will adapt positively and have transforming growth. This is a spectrum, so there will be all sorts of outcomes between these two extremes.
There are two factors which people can control which impact the outcome: using internal and external resources and choosing the perceptions about the stressful event by what kinds of thoughts and meanings are given regarding the stressful event. You can experience control when you find resources to help you and choose what thoughts you will decide to keep thinking.